In This Last Week…

As I begin my last week of a long summer of homelessness I feel great joy for fulfilling a fundamental milestone of my adulthood — living on my own and in my own terms. I also feel bitter-sweetness as I end this summer because although it brought along so much adversity, it gave me multiple opportunities to kneel down & kiss the ground.

Hopping from house to house (friends’ and relatives’) throughout the whole summer was exhausting. In the times of solitude usually during the late hours of the night, I found myself giving thanks for all the things and people who came my way to help me get through — not only this time, but during all the tough times of my life since the age of about 13. I came to tears remembering the signs I ignored, the people I left behind, and the things I picked up on foolishly believing they ever mattered.

The most aching words I heard all summer weren’t “your car needs a new transmission” (although that hurt my pocket more than anything) but those of my son saying “I wanna go home” leaving me feeling helpless because whatever it was he calling “home” I couldn’t give to him ’til now. This experience has only strengthen the bond we have. I have grown even more loving toward myself and others. This has been a time of appreciation, and certainly of deep soul-digging.

It was a summer of reassurance from the angels guarding my life on land and in heaven, and I live striving to find their guidance and everlasting love for me every single day of my life.

Thank you Life, for giving me the opportunity to not have anything, because it was through the lack thereof that I realized how much I actually had, and continue to have.

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